~ Grandpa: [voiceover] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
~ Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
~ Westley: As you wish.
~ Grandpa: [voiceover] “As you wish” was all he ever said to her.
~ Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water – please.
~ Westley: As you wish.
~ Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “As you wish”, what he meant was, “I love you.” And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
– The Princess Bride
I was lucky to find a lasting love early in life. Then comes learning what’s involved, such as anniversaries. The only real difficulty with my Wedding Anniversary is that it comes smack-in-the-middle of my wife’s birthday (near Thanksgiving) and Christmas. That’s a busy time for all of us. Happily, for men, I think the wedding anniversary is a no-brainer. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been married a while (our daughter is grown and married), and I’ve gained some experience having fumbled our anniversary a few times along the way. But in general, wedding anniversaries are easy for men. We know the drill; plan an evening out at a nice restaurant, or maybe a get-away weekend. The gifts are only too obvious; flowers, jewelry (probably earrings), and something from Crabtree & Evelyn or Bath & Body Works. It’s romantic and – it’s expected. Now a guy would be thrilled with an anniversary gift such as a pair of tickets to the playoffs for his favorite team. That’s just the facts. – Men and Women ARE different.
I think the main difference is because guys are brain damaged coming out of the womb. It’s true! You can look it up. As a boy’s brain is developed in the uterus some kind of hormone “Acid” washes over the brain and severs most of the connections between the left and right sides of the brain. It doesn’t happen with girls. That is why women jump so easily back and forth between 10 different things in a conversation. We men tend to want to focus on just one thing at a time, like the game that is on T.V. right now!
In truth, the differences between men and women are what keep a marriage from getting boring, and not a little unlike a roller coaster. And hey, roller coasters are fun – right guys!?!
One of the earliest film couples that present a fine example of marital compatibility can be found in Nick and Nora Charles in the 1934 film The Thin Man. In many ways they are so different, yet they always exhibit ample good humor and unflinching faith in one another. Nick and Nora provide a pattern that all married couples would do well to emulate.
Nora Charles: “Take care of yourself”
Nick Charles: “Why, sure I will.”
Nora Charles: “Don’t say it like that! Say it as if you meant it!”
Nick Charles: “Well, I do believe the little woman cares.”
Nora Charles: “I don’t care! It’s just that I’m used to you, that’s all.”
– The 1934 movie The Thin Man
Model yourselves after Nick and Nora – Don’t take yourselves too seriously, meaning, a sense of humor goes a long way. And like Wesley and Buttercup in The Princess Bride, share the adventure. In both small ways and big, there are countless journeys to share together that draw you close and build memories. Go!…Do!…See!
“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.’
I should think so — in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!”
– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit